


Chasing after the seasons

by Dalankar



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, Super Junior, TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 11:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they took Hyukjae, Donghae wasn’t even there. Donghae knows that he is no Kim Heechul. He is not trying to lead a rebellion, he just wants Hyukjae back and to get Hyukjae back, he is willing to make as much trouble as it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing after the seasons

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the film Dredd, or its original, The Raid.

When they took Hyukjae, Donghae wasn’t even there. Jungsu told him later that they had really come for Sungmin but Hyukjae had gotten in the way. Donghae wants to laugh. Of course Hyukjae had gotten in the way. Whatever space Donghae doesn’t occupy in Hyukjae's heart is taken up by Sungmin. And Donghae knows Hyukjae would do anything for him.

He doesn't know why Taemin wants Sungmin, who has no links to anything related to Taemin's business interests. Except there were those rumours. That he was part of the previous rebellion. That maybe he would lead another one. But Donghae believes none of it. No one who knows Sungmin, with his scarred face and gentle smile, would believe him capable of plotting anything, let alone a rebellion against the current establishment.

 

It had been six weeks. Six weeks since he had last seen Hyukjae. Six weeks since that day. He had thought everything would end that day.

But the world hadn't ended. Not really. They were both alive. That had to count for something, right? Maybe. All he knows is that sometimes he would curl up in his pallet in the back room of the medical center and feel it so deep in his bones that living without Hyukjae is not living at all. Not knowing what Taemin would be doing to Hyukjae makes him wish he had been there. To this day he doesn’t know why he hadn’t gone down with Hyukjae for the medical supplies. Even if Jungsu had needed an extra hand at the clinic, he should have gone with Hyukjae. He doesn’t know what he would have done, but atleast they would have been together. Maybe they both would have died. That would have been an escape too, right?

 

Six weeks.

 

And there he is. For a moment it feels like nothing has changed. The same skinny boy, dark hair and full lips and beautiful face. But then he sees the collar around Hyukjae's neck. Patches in his dark hair that tells him someone had forcefully cut Hyukjae's hair. And the blue and purple bruise on the side of Hyukjae's face drives home all his nightmares.

Donghae forgets to breathe as Yunho leads Hyukjae by the leash attached to his collar. Donghae finally knows who is responsible for the bruises. Taemin is not known for his kindness for his 'pets' and Yunho not much better. Hyukjae's eyes widen when they find him pressed back against the wall. Hyukjae stops. Involuntarily because Yunho tugs on the leash harshly, "move". Hyukjae stumbles forward. Donghae finds himself stepping forward after him. Hyukjae cranes his head back, Donghae, he mouths and a smile flashes across his face, for a moment brightening his face before a particularly vicious pull at the leash almost brings him to his knees.

"Hyukjae," Donghae breathes as he watches the procession disappear to a part of the quadrant he would never be allowed to enter.

 

\---

 

“Here.” Yunho tosses him a shirt, “Put this on or you'll freeze.” Hyukjae holds the shirt in trembling hands, looking up at Yunho in shock. The other person in the room, a young man, wiry and thin, chuckles from the bed.

 

“Are you deaf too?” Yunho asks, “Put on the fucking shirt.”

 

Hyukjae slowly draws the shirt over his body and the fabric strains over the cuts on his back, sending stabs of pain as he finally pulls the shirt down.

“Do I even have to ask where you picked this one out from?” The young man without a name asks, amusement colouring his voice. Yunho shrugs. “His name is Hyukjae,” he says and Hyukjae looks up to find them both looking at him. “I’m Changmin and in here,” he spreads a hand to indicate the room, with its faded walls and worn furniture, “I’m king.” Yunho laughs and Changmin grins.

 

“Next time, he wants something,” Yunho starts, looking at Hyukjae while stripping off his shirt and sitting down on his bed, “just give it to him.”

 

Hyukjae stares at him. Yunho sighs. He pulls a blanket off his bed and throws it at Hyukjae, who lets it hit him on the chest. “I'll find you a mattress tomorrow.” Hyukjae draws the blanket around himself as Yunho settles down on his bed.

 

Hyukjae lies down on the floor on his side, pulls the blanket over his head and hopes it muffles the sound of his sobs as he cries.

 

\---

 

They help the block's doctor. Park Jungsu, medical officer for the whole 100 floors of humanity. He does the best he can. And given they are in the backwaters of the city where supplies and the law barely reaches, he does a damn good job. Jungsu had been kind to them, when no one else had been. Who would care for two orphan boys with nothing and no one? But then Jungsu wasn't from this block. His kindness had not been worn down by living out here for so long.

 

Jungsu looks after the kids who are unwanted, who would otherwise die of starvation, of the cold in winter, of the heat in the summer, of abuse, whichever got there first. Even if most of Jungsu’s kids somehow end up joining up with Taemin’s gang eventually, he’s never stopped taking in those that need him. Donghae knows he and Hyukjae would have died a long time ago if it wasn’t for Jungsu. Now that he is one of the older boys, along with Hyukjae, Jongwoon and Jinki, he helps the doctor run the medical center and look after the younger kids. Although Jongwoon is generally always occupied with the care of one boy, Kim Ryeowook and Donghae, Hyukjae and Jinki has been making sure that Tao, Sehun, Kyungsoo and the others are looked after and didn’t get into trouble. When Hyukjae was around, they used to play together with the kids, they used to run around their floor, chasing each other through the long corridors, getting yelled at by people when they made too much noise. They were family. And now Hyukjae is gone and the kids don’t smile so much anymore.

 

Donghae watches Jongwoon lifting the spoon to Ryeowook’s mouth and watches as the boy automatically opens his mouth and swallow the broth, his gaze never wavering from where it is focussed on beyond the grey wall of the medical center. The boy with the lifeless eyes. Dead eyes.

 

“There is nothing physically wrong with him,” Jungsu had said when Donghae had asked that first time he watched Jongwoon feed Ryeowook, “but his mind is gone most of the time.”

 

Donghae never had to ask how or who. Even if he wondered why. The boy didn't seem to be the type to ever come across the gang willingly.

 

“Ryeowook's brother tried to make a stand against Taemin. They tortured and killed him right infront of his eyes.” Donghae remembers the tremor in Jungsu's voice, that even after all this time, this place could still shock him. He’d known, even then, about Kim Heechul. At least heard of him. Spoken in whispers, like a myth. A legend. The man who had dared to stand against Taemin and his gang. But he hadn't known there was a brother.

 

“Jongwoon breathes for the days when Ryeowook wakes up. He'll never give up on him, I'm sure of that,” Jungsu had said sadly and Donghae watches as Jongwoon gently wipes Ryeowook's mouth with a cloth.

 

He knows that he is no Kim Heechul. He is not trying to lead a rebellion, he just wants Hyukjae back. That’s all. Just wants his Hyukjae back and they’d leave and never cause any trouble for anyone. But to get Hyukjae back, he is willing to make as much trouble as it takes.

 

\---

 

“Why did you tell him I’d help?” Siwon asks, walking into the medical office unannounced. The third figure in the room stares at him wide eyed and quickly disappears out the door. Siwon turns his head to watch him leave and turns to Jungsu with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t he a little too old for your orphanage?” he asks.

 

“His brother was a good friend of mine. Now that your people have gone and made him disappear, do you expect me to let him starve?”

 

“I never knew you were so close to Sungmin,” Siwon wonders aloud. Jungsu quirks an eyebrow. “And do you chance to know all my friends?”

 

Siwon chuckles but sobers immediately. “How is…?”

 

“Not any different from the last time you asked?” Jungsu’s voice is sharp but softens at the look on Siwon’s face, “Jongwoon is taking good care of him. You don’t need to worry for Ryeowook.”

 

Siwon nods and Jungsu smiles. “And from what I hear I’m not the only one looking after strays.”

 

Jungsu’s smile turns into a gentle laugh at Siwon’s frown. “Don’t worry, Siwon. I’m a good keeper of secrets.”

 

“You should let that go,” Jungsu says quietly, nodding at the gun at Siwon’s hip.

 

“I can’t.”

 

Jungsu sighs. “Siwon, he wouldn’t want this for you.”

 

“No. I’m pretty sure he’d want me to rot in hell.”

 

Jungsu flinches. “He wouldn’t! He loved you.”

 

Siwon laughs bitterly and shakes his head. “I’m not here to argue about the past, Jungsu. One of your pets, Donghae, is trying to get himself killed.”

 

“Not if you look after him.”

 

“What makes you think-“

 

“Because I know this is not what you want. It is never what you wanted, Siwon, maybe this is your chance to finally be true to yourself.”

 

Siwon stares at Jungsu. “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand, Jungsu. You stay in this clinic every day, you don’t know how the real world works!”

 

Jungsu’s face twists with anger. “Don’t think for a moment that because I must spend my time here that I don’t know what is happening outside my walls. That I’m not affected by what your people do!”

 

Siwon lowers his eyes. “I’m sorry. Have you heard from him?”

 

Jungsu sighs. “Nothing for a month now. The only thing keeping me from going after him is that I don’t know where he is.”

 

Although he hadn’t heard anything about Youngwoon, Siwon knows that it is never a good sign to lose contact, especially around here. But he doesn’t say that. He knows Jungsu is carrying enough burdens. “He’ll come back,” he says instead.

 

Jungsu stays quiet for a moment, eyes fixed on the floor. “Will you help Donghae?” he finally asks, looking up.

 

Siwon sighs. “I will get him in. I can’t promise more than that.”

 

Jungsu smiles. “Thank you.” 

 

\---

 

Hyukjae falls, his whole face stinging.

 

“You know what's so good about having a mute for a pet?” Taemin nudges him with a boot clad foot. “You can do whatever you want to them and they'll never complain.”

 

Hyukjae hears the laughs, the sniggers. They know. Hyukjae hasn't tried to keep track of the number of times Taemin had pointed this out. But they always laugh. No matter what.

 

Hyukjae wishes he could just stay curled up on the floor like this. The floor is dirty, yes, but it's cool and his face is on fire. He wonders if he'll have a scar. Like Sungmin. Who has many. White and thin and drawing across his face like silver threads.  He wonders if they'll leave him alone if he was disfigured. Taemin pulls him up by his hair and he tries to brace himself for the next attack when there, at the back of the room, Hyukjae sees the one whose presence in his dreams has kept him sane for all these weeks.

 

Donghae's eyes are wide, face pale and Hyukjae's heart skips a beat in fear. What is he doing here? This part of the floor is off bounds to most people. This entire _floor_ is off bounds. Then Hyukjae sees the man standing in front of Donghae. Choi Siwon. Then Hyukjae understands and he wants to scream. Why Donghae? Why didn't you run? He knows Jungsu could have gotten him out. 

 

Except he knows why Donghae hadn't run. He knows why Donghae is here, standing behind Siwon, next to a dark haired boy Hyukjae has never seen before. He is doing the exact same thing Hyukjae would have done if their positions were reversed. Donghae would never leave him behind. Never. Maybe that's the one thing Hyukjae had been holding on to all this time when otherwise he would have wished for death. And achieved it quite easily too. But he hadn't. He endured because he knew that somewhere on this towering block of withered lives, Donghae was coming for him.  

 

\---

 

Yunho pulls on the leash so hard that Hyukjae nearly stumbles in to him.

 

“He's mine.” Yunho claims him.

 

Wu fan laughs. “Come on, Yunho. Share.” Chanyeol titters behind him. Hyukjae sticks close to Yunho, eyes downcast, trembling with adrenalin and fear. He can still feel Wu Fan's fingers gripping his hair, as if he wanted to rip them out from the root.

 

Yunho draws himself up to his full height. Even if Wu Fan is not short, he does not have the muscle that Yunho has on his body and Wu Fan glares up at Yunho as he towers over him.

 

“Touch him again and you will lose the hand.”

 

“You wouldn't dare,” Wu Fan says, not entirely intimidated.

 

Yunho's long knife flashes deadly silver in the light as it whips through the air to stop a hair’s breadth away from Wu Fan's neck, “Try me.”

 

\---

 

Donghae lifts his face from his knees and looks up at him from where he's sitting down in the corner of the room. His face is wet and Siwon looks away as Donghae tries to wipe away his tears with his sleeves. Siwon knows it had been a shock, that the first time he'd seen Hyukjae was to see him being hurt like that. He doesn't think it wise to tell Donghae that what he saw had been the norm for the past few weeks and will be until Taemin tires of Hyukjae and finds another pet. But he thinks Donghae might know that already.

 

"Why?" Donghae asks, voice filled with tears, sounding slightly bewildered.

 

Because he can. Because Taemin is king and this is his kingdom. No one challenges that. Taemin had made sure of that when he had…

Siwon shouldn't have let Taemin kill Hangeng, then Heechul would never have fought. Then Siwon would never have had to watch as life was slowly drained from the one person he held above all others. He knows Heechul had hated him by the end even when he was on his knees pleading for his brother's life.

 

He sits down beside Donghae and leans his head back against the wall with a tired sigh.

 

Siwon has hated himself for a very long time.  Maybe it is time to stop. He thumbs the gun at his hip.

 

"It's a good day as any," he says softly. For redemption.

 

\---

 

He takes in Hyukjae's still form, curled up in to a tight ball at the corner, so much blood on him that he wonders if there's any left to flow through his veins. He turns to Taemin who cocks his head at him as if asking what's wrong. It is all within Taemin's power. To do as he wishes. To destroy as he wishes. But Hyukjae with his sad eyes and sweet smile doesn't deserve this. Doesn't deserve to die at the hands of this baby faced psychopath.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I could.” Taemin shrugs. Yunho clenches his fists and forces himself to stand still.  

 

“If Minho was here, would you still-“

 

“Minho is not here, is he?” Taemin asks, voice curiously flat as if he’s just talking about the weather instead of the loss of the one person he had loved best. “This is my world. So neither he nor you get any say in what I choose to do with my time.” As if to prove his point, Taemin kicks at Hyukjae who shows his first sign of life by trying to back away against the wall he is already curled in to.

 

Just for a moment, Yunho doesn’t see Hyukjae, instead he sees Jaejoong, bloody, curled up in a corner of their room. He blinks and Hyukjae is crying silently at his feet. Taemin had already wandered off.

 

“You know why he did it?” Yunho yells. “Because he couldn't take it anymore. He hated what you've become, what you did! They were your friends, Taemin!”

 

“They were plotting against me,” Taemin informs him quietly from the couch.

 

Yunho laughs. “Plotting against you? Are you kidding me? All Kibum had ever cared about was Jonghyun. But I guess you knew that. Even when you had Minho and Jongin, you still wanted more didn't you? But Kibum never loved you. I never thought, even you, would do what you did. And you wonder why Minho chose to leave.”

 

He walks past Jongin on the way out, a senseless Hyukjae secure in his arms. Jongin’s expressionless eyes are fixed on Taemin and Yunho curses himself for coming back to this place that had never given him anything back in return.

 

\---

 

He remembers when Jaejoong had left. Looking up at him with a sweet smile. Yoochun and Junsu already gone before him, Jaejoong had waited for him. Waited to say goodbye.

 

_Don't let this be how you remember me._ Jaejoong had pleaded. Yunho had brushed at his tears wonderingly as he knelt on the scarlet drenched floor and Jaejoong had closed his eyes.

 

No matter how much Yunho had pleaded, he hadn't opened them again. And when the new doctor had tried to pull him away, Yunho had thrown him in to the wall in his desperation to never let Jaejoong be alone. Like he had promised. All those days and nights they had spent together.

 

That wasn't how he remembered Jaejoong anyway. He'd always be the bright eyed creature who looked at Yunho with love in his eyes and not fear. The one person who had been the first to take his hand and say, I won't let go, don't let me go either and Yunho had promised. But the way the blood ran under his hands and the feel of Jaejoong’s cold skin never left his dreams, even when he had run so far to get away. Only after finding Changmin did he think it was okay to sleep at night, only Changmin could keep the nightmares at bay. He’d spent so long away that he though it safe to come back, to start again. And Taemin would have never turned him away, not back then when he’d been fighting for his tenuous hold on power.

 

But things are slipping again, and Hyukjae is the last straw.

 

There is a world outside these walls. And this time he doesn’t plan on coming back.

 

\---

 

“Go.” Hyukjae stares at the collar on the floor and back up at Yunho.

 

Why? He wants to ask. He doesn't understand why Yunho is suddenly letting him go.

 

Changmin laughs in the background. “I didn't know you were this stupid. When he says go, you go.”

 

“Things are about to get complicated here. And while I have the power, I'm letting you go. Take the stairwell, not the lift. Your friend will be waiting for you.”

 

Hyukjae's eyes widen. Donghae?

 

“Go now.” Hyukjae nods and with one last look at Yunho, and Changmin, he runs.

 

\---

 

“Why can't I come with you?” Kyuhyun asks, sitting down on Siwon’s table and swinging his legs. “Are you really going to kill him?” Kyuhyun asks when Siwon doesn’t answer.

 

Siwon turns around to face Kyuhyun. “If I don't come back, get out of here. Do you understand? I asked Jungsu to get you out.”

 

“Why should I run? I'm not scared of him,” Kyuhyun scoffs.

 

Siwon slides the knife in to his boot and takes Kyuhyun by the shoulders.

 

“Kyu, if I fail, Taemin will destroy you.”

 

Kyuhyun sniffs. “I'd like to see him try.”

 

Siwon lets go with a sigh and gets back to preparing, thumbs the initials on the gun barrel before tucking it in to his back. _KHC_.

 

“Are you really going to get yourself killed for a dead man?” The humour is gone from Kyuhyun’s voice now and Siwon chuckles.

 

“We're all dead men.”

 

Kyuhyun laughs, head thrown back. “Oh very wise but I'm not dead yet.”

 

Siwon crowds closer to Kyuhyun again. “Stay that way, Kyu. Don't follow me.” He pulls the silver chain around his neck, his second most prized possession, the cross that Hangeng had given him so long ago and slips it around Kyuhyun’s neck. He presses his lips to Kyuhyun’s forehead in farewell.

 

“Goodbye.”

 

\---

 

Yunho blinks as Changmin smiles. There is nothing at first. No sign that the bullet had even gone close to him. But then he sees the blood, soaking out of Changmin's shirt and Changmin looks up at him, eyes wide, smile frozen on his face.

 

Yunho screams as he leaps forward and catches Changmin as he falls, lowering him to the floor.

 

 "You caught me," Changmin smiles, there is blood in his mouth, staining his teeth.

 

"I promised, didn't I?" Yunho blinks and his tears fall and runs down Changmin's cheeks.

 

"Yeah…" Changmin whispers, eyes closing.

 

_Don't let this be how you remember me._

 

“You can't talk to Taemin like that.” Jongin's voice is soft, almost apologetic. Incongruent with the gun tapping rhythmically against his thigh.

 

Yunho looks up from Changmin's lifeless eyes and charges, sending them both flying back, hitting the wall hard.

 

They both freeze when they hear a gun click. Yunho holds up his hands and slowly turns around. Siwon is holding a gun to his face.

 

“Siwon-“

 

“Shut up,” Siwon snaps and Yunho barely catches Jongin move below him before he hears the gun shot. Siwon is looking down at Jongin, frozen in the act of reaching for his own gun. There is a perfectly circular hole on the side of Jongin’s head. Yunho looks up at Siwon. Siwon's eyes flicker down to Changmin's lifeless body and he takes a step back.

 

“Now you know,” Siwon says and walks away.

 

Yunho falls to his knees and crawls over to Changmin.

  

He remembers Jaejoong's smile as he said goodbye.

 

He shouldn't have come back. Should have realised the inevitable end that was waiting for him. He runs a bloody hand through Changmin's hair a last time "I'm sorry," he whispers, and remembers Changmin when he had first met him, wild eyed and too skinny. Remembers him as he kissed him for the first time, lips dry and hands trembling just a little. Remembers him pushing and pulling at Yunho until Yunho decided that maybe it's okay. Maybe this is his second chance.

 

Maybe Yunho had never deserved a second chance.

 

He stands up.

 

He is 100 floors above ground. It is a long way down. He wonders if it'll hurt. And decides it doesn't matter.

 

\---

  

“I distinctly remember throwing the man he loved off this floor. Funny, I don't remember it being you,” Taemin mocks.

 

“I suppose you should know what it is to love someone unrequitedly,” Siwon says calmly, grip on the gun unyielding.

 

Taemin chuckles. “And look what I did to him.”

 

Siwon freezes.

 

“Did you really think, Kibum, the meticulous Kibum would ever overdose on dream pills? God! Why is everyone so stupid?”

 

Siwon remembers Jonghyun after Kibum's death, hollow eyed and hopeless. He hadn't been surprised to find that he had fallen three weeks after Kibum's death. But he had never questioned the cause of Kibum's death. He had never thought Taemin was capable of that. He really should have known better.

 

He clicks off the safely of the gun and sees Taemin’s eyes dart around the room, the gun in his hands shaking just a little. Siwon doesn’t know where Taemin’s cronies are, aside from Jongin he had not been met with any resistance.

 

“This is for all the lives you’ve ruined, for-”

 

Taemin shoots. “You’re talking too much,” he says with a laugh.

 

Siwon feels the burn in his chest and laughs. He shoots until he runs out of bullets. Until Taemin stops laughing and falls, first to his knees and then topples on to the floor, wide eyed in shock.

 

Siwon touches a hand to his chest and smiles when his fingers come away red. He hopes Heechul wouldn’t be too disappointed in him. When he falls, only Kyuhyun is in his thoughts and Siwon wishes him far away from this place.

 

\---

 

Kyuhyun saunters in to the room, hands in his pockets. He takes in the bodies on the ground, eyes lingering on Siwon's still form.

 

He bends down to pick up the gun at his feet, thumb traces over the initials and he chuckles.

 

“Thank you,” he says softly, “for clearing the way for me.”

 

Wu Fan and Chanyeol wade in to the room, searching for any hidden threats.

 

“Get your boys up here and clean this up,” he orders. Chanyeol and Wu Fan nod and leave immediately. Kyuhyun walks over to the window. He should be able to see everything around him for miles. But rain splatters against the glass violently and he can barely see the next housing tower only three miles away. Kyuhyun smiles.

 

It is a good day to become king.

 

He turns to the figure in the shadows with silver scars webbing across his face.

 

“Is this what you wanted?”

 

The figure laughs, soft and joyous.

 

“No.” Sungmin steps closer to Kyuhyun at the window. “But it will do.”

 

Kyuhyun turns back towards the storm.

 

“For now.”

  

\---

 

Hyukjae laughs soundlessly, turning his face up to the rain. Donghae watches him as he twirls, sending water flying everywhere. The bruises on his face have faded enough that Donghae wouldn't even know they're there unless he looks for them and the hair will grow back and Donghae will make sure Hyukjae eats more than he would so he can be a little bit more than just bones.

Hyukjae is still smiling when he looks at Donghae and holds out a hand. Donghae grins, takes his hand and steps out in to the rain.

 

***

 

 


End file.
